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Butterflies v. Soul Stirring

Butterflies v. Soul Stirring

So yesterday at my church was Youth Sunday (Yay fifth Sundays :)) and the youth choir sang a song by Tasha Cobbs called “Happy”

When I heard the song in church I liked it almost immediately, well really when the song got to this part, “Your Life Saved My Life/With You is where I belong/I’m so in love with You.” Well after figuring out who sings the song, thanks @yobreezy, and listening to it a few times (had my morning praise and worship today). I started to get some revelation about my love for God.

I’ve always struggled with the love thing, getting better, thanks to having my heart broken a few times and this struggle affected me to a point where I wasn’t able to express my love towards God because I was afraid He would reject me too (wasn’t logical since God is love but a wounded person will make sense out of almost anything). Anyways, I’ve moved from that place and between hearing this song and some other recent events it kinda hit me this morning about God love v. people love which is how this post is called “Butterflies v. Soul Stirring.”

Background

Recently, I have been asking God to show me how I can love Him and love a man. Basically, in my singleness I have been really working the last two years on improving my relationship with God but I don’t want to be single forever and I don’t want to loose God, by my doing of course, when the time comes for me to get into a romantic relationship again (Dear Future Husband, God comes first punto!).

In relation to this seeking of God, one of the verses I would say to myself to God in my quiet time and praise and worship time is from Psalm 27: 8 which I know better in Spanish (I explain a bit about this below), “Me dice el corazón: <<Busca su rostro>>. Sí, tu rostro, Señor, es lo que busco;” Basically, here David is sharing with God that he is seeking God’s face. I am doing the same thing but one thing I feared was loosing God when the time came for me to not be single anymore or to be in that process of moving from singleness.

Butterflies

So butterflies 🙂 are probably one of the best discoveries of puberty, lol. I STILL remember the first boy that gave me butterflies. I was in 7th grade and he was an 8th grader. The song I had for him was Fantasy by Mariah Carey (I mean this was the late 90s).

I thought he was sooooooo cute and every time I would see him my stomach would flutter. Either that or I would think about him and sing to him, to myself, when “Fantasy” would start and Carey belts out, “Oh when you walk by every night/talking sweet and looking fine/I get kinda hectic insiiiidddeeee/Oh baby I’m so into you…” (Yes after all these years I STILL have that opening memorized :D).

So after my 7th grade crush, I knew that when butterflies showed up…I really liked a guy 🙂

Soul Stirring

So the soul stirring thing I admit is newer than butterflies. But the more I’ve listened to Christian music and read my Bible and gained an understanding of who God is and what He has done for me and us as people on this planet this soul stirring, its hard to put what happens in words, happens more and more. Additionally, I’ve noticed that I get a deeper understanding of the words that gospel artists share when they sing. My recent shift has even gotten to a point where sometimes when I listen to R&B, instead of thinking about a crush, present or past, I think about God or think that well…those feelings, as shared in the song, are a bit much to be having for just a person.

For me, soul stirring is also a feeling like butterflies but its deeper and instead of being a distraction, as butterflies often are, soul stirring focuses me. And, it allows me to understand my love of God on another deeper level. This stirring also brings up memories but God memories…times in the past where God was there when no one else was there or when God sent me things like Psalm 27 when I was struggling in Spain as a study abroad student who always wanted to go to Spain but felt torn when they didn’t like it as much as they thought they should and who was also getting over their first love. It was a lot but God came through, and I’m not sure how much I understood that at the time but it did help, and Spain got better and I had a great time and the hurt from the first love eventually healed.

So what got my soul stirring to get me to write today? My meditation on these “Happy” song lyrics:

You Make Me Happy/You Make Me Whole/You Take the pain away..I’m So in love with you/Everything about you is Right…Covers all my wrong/Your Life Saved My Life/With You is where I belong/I’M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU./CAN’T MAKE IT WITHOUT YOU/I LIVE TO WORSHIP YOU/FOREVER ME AND YOU

When I heard these words, especially those last four lines, there was this instant connection like, “that’s me! that’s my story! that’s how I feel!” Soul stirring…Then the more I listened and reflected and meditated on the words of this song and some other things that’s when I understood that the fear I felt about mixing up my love for God and the future love of a man is something I don’t have to worry about because God’s love hits me in a way that no human can! [Praise pause :)] A human can’t stir my soul and if I ever get to that point I know that something is wrong.

All of This to Say…

That I’m really glad to get the insight that I got. I’m also glad that both butterflies and soul stirring are so enjoyable and that I can appreciate both things in new ways. Finally, I’m really glad that, “I’m so in love with You [God],” and that I am more and more aware of it every day.

Thanks for reading and until next time…

DNMP

 

On My iTunes: All 4 Love by Color Me Badd


So right now All 4 Love by Color Me Badd is on high rotation. I discovered this song earlier this year when I was searching Mickey Mouse Club clips on YouTube. Finally this week I found out who sung the song and downloaded it. This song is the perfect mix of early 90s R&B with a dash of boy band and “cheese.” See the words below:

((Verse 1)) I’m so glad you’re my girl/ I’ll do anything for you/ Call you every night/ And give you flowers, too/ I thank the Lord for you/ And think about you all the time/ I ask Him everyday That you’ll forever be mine/ I wanna hold your hand/ To show you I’ll be there/ I like to do the things/ That let to know I care/ I sing this lullaby/ ‘Cause girl you fill me full/ I look into your eyes/ You’re so beautiful/ ((Chours)) Oh girl I think I love ya/ I’m always thinkin’ of ya/ I want you to know I’d do it all for love/ I love it when we’re together/ Girl I need you forever/ and want you to know I do it all for love /((Verse 2)) I will never leave you, Sugar This I guarantee/ I look into the future I see you and me/ Knight in shining armor/ I will be your fairy tale/ I wanna take care of you Girl, I’ll serve you well. / I will be there for you/ To catch you when you fall/ I’ll hold you in my arms/ That’s where you belong/ I sing this lullaby ‘Cause girl you fill me full/ I look into your eyes/ You’re so beautiful…beautiful…yeah!/ ((Chorus)) Oh girl I think I love ya/ I’m always thinkin’ of ya/ I want you to know I’d do it all for love/ I love it when we’re together/ Girl I need you forever and want you to know I do it all for love / ((singing)) All for lovin’ (all for love)/ All for you (you, you, you)/ All for lovin’ you (you) / ((Chorus)) Oh girl I think I love ya/ I’m always thinkin’ of ya/ I want you to know I’d do it all for love/ I love it when we’re together/ Girl I need you forever and want you to know I do it all for love ((Repeat chorus 3 times))

 
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Posted by on 28 March 2007 in Music, On My iTunes

 

Smorgasbord of information…

So a lot has been going on with me lately so I decided to do a quick, I hope, smorgasbord of information.

“Lenting” for the First Time
So this is the first year I have decided to actually participate in Lent, one of my best friends has done it in the past but I just kinda looked at her like she was crazy. But this year I decided why not..I’m up for the challenge. It took me awhile to think of what I could give up. I more or less eat healthy, I don’t smoke, and I don’t drink too much. Finally it dawned on me what I could do- give up Facebook and MySpace. It was something that would be a sacrifice and something that was CLEARLY a large part of my life, I can barely go 24 hours without checking one or the other most times both. So to Facebook and MySpace see you on April 6th =)

Lent Day Two
Its only day two and I can sense that I will be getting a crackhead itch sometime soon. Basically this evening I have done replacement activities instead of going on Facebook or MySpace. I went to blogs of friends and associates and made comments, an idea that was stressed by someone on the Facebook referring to how people will complement his notes but not comment. So I did what I normally don’t do and I commented- so what if the entries were old…if anything maybe it will encourage them to post another blog.

In an ideal world: My Presidential Candidate Selection Committee
Between all of recent talk about the committees assessing if politicians should run for president in 2008 and reading Barack Obama’s The Audacity of Hope, a must read I may add, I thought about what if I could have a committee to look at who I should vote for and why. A group to get to the bottom of what is the deal with Hilary, to figure out if Obama’s inexperience is an advantage or disadvantage, to decide should I take Biden’s “articulate” comment in the spirit of it or literally and to even explore if I should even look at Giuliani. This committee would also look at candidates voting records to see how they have developed over time (my heart would go out to the team or intern that would look at Biden’s 34 year voting record). I am assuming that some of the people that may read this are thinking isn’t that what political action committees, political parties and other organizations are supposed to do? For me I get that but these groups are not personally catered to me they are catered to their interests some of which are important to me but I am concerned about the environment but I am not a tree hugger or I’m a democrat but I’m moderate. My Presidential Candidate Selection Committee would take these things into account and help me decide Biden, Clinton or Obama– a hard decision considering all three candidates represent some part of my identity. Biden is a Delawarean, Clinton is female and Obama identifies Black.

What is currently playing on my iTunes/iPod
I recently bought The Evolution of Robin Thicke and the Dreamgirls Deluxe soundtrack. Both I highly recomend. Robin Thicke’s album is SOOOO good. He has so many songs that I can relate to. “Lost without You” is one of those songs that always make me want to dance, no matter where I am. Moving to Dreamgirls the soundtrack is a greatway to re-live your favorite parts of the movie, if you have seen it. I was listening to this one all day at work today and I was cracking up the whole day at my desk. I also had, “Got me a Cadillac, Cadillac, Cadillac, got me a Cadillac car,” in my head all day- both versions. I would say more but I think I have said enouph for one day…so much for quick.

 

The Side Rattail

um yesterday I was on my way to my french class and as usual i got in a car to the feria, where alot of the private buses leave from. Well my driver yesterday had a rattail…I mean 1985 rattail and to make matters worse is that it was on the left side of his head so not only was it a rattail but it was a SIDE rattail…I think this was worse than a mullet. I just smiled as I thought of New Edition and other boys and groups famous for their rattails…oh what about Prince Hakeem in Coming to America…I hope that driver cuts his like Hakeem did.

 
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Posted by on 22 February 2006 in Dominican Republic, Fashion, Music