So today’s reading had me shouting in my head like I was in church 🙂 In the video that leads into this chapter, Rev. Warren talks about the two types of love one being a vertical love towards God and the other being a horizontal love towards people.
The title of the chapter is, “What Matters Most,” and the short version of the content of today’s chapter is the first line, “Life is all about love.”
A few years ago, I did a program called The Landmark Forum and the subsequent Curriculum for Living through Landmark Education and during this process we had to state who we were outside of our job titles and resume bullets. What I chose was to be the possibility of love and so this chapter speaks to me — mind, body and spirit — in a special way.
I love to love people and it takes A LOT for me NOT to like you but I will always strive to love you and in some cases that means I stay away from you. It sounds weird but sometimes the best way to love someone is to not be around them. I feel like what is shared in this chapter is so important I wish I could just photo copy it and share it with everyone I know. The ironic thing is is that as much as I love to love, I guard my heart and inner most aspects of myself with a vengeance. At one time a friend of mine from college described me by explaining that I’m like a girl who is sitting outside tanning in the sun with a sign that says, “Hey come hang out with me,” but I have a moat with alligators surrounding me. It surprised me just how shockingly true that was and it still is to an extent though I’m trying to be better about it. However, deep down I want to love and it is my desire and goal to love.
The other great connection with love expressed in this chapter is time.
Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can’t make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. It is not enough just to say relationships are important; we must prove it by investing time in them. Words alone are worthless. “My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action [1John 3:18 TEV].” Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is “T-I-M-E” [Emphasis Mine].
The idea of time as an expression of love is connected with today’s Question to Consider, “Honestly, are relationships my first priority? How can I ensure that they are?” My answer for this:
Is yes and no. Generally, relationships are my first priority but working on my PhD has me shifting these two things back and forth which is hard for me because relationships normally come before other things but I also know that in the long run the faster I get this PhD done the sooner I can work my way back to my default setting. Furthermore, I know that I will better be able to formulate and support the relationships in my life once I am moving towards doing what I really want to do which I need to finish school to do.
To close, I will share the OjO OjO moment for this chapter:
The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention.
Ironically with Jennifer Lopez in the news recently she has an old song that gets to the heart of this, “My Love Don’t Cost a Thing.” She says in verse 2:
When I took a chance
Thought you’d understand
Baby credit cards aren’t romance
So you’re tryna buy what’s already yours
What I need from is not available in stores
Seen a side of you that I really feel
Doing way too much, never keep it real
If it doesn’t change, gotta hit the road
Now I’m leaving, where’s my keys?
I’ve got to go
And J.Lo, :), hits it on the spot in this area just like like Rev. Warren! (Never thought you would read the two of them in the same sentence did you, lol) Sure, don’t get me wrong getting pretty things and not having to pay for them is nice…I mean I am a graduate student and the idea of disposable income is a distant memory and I do want financial stability in my life but honestly I would rather have the time and efforts of my friends, family and others, :), over their money or the objects they buy with money because things fade away and break but memories and moments last forever.
Spread the Love with You!